I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
