dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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