that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Randomize
