the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize