My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
