her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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