is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
