He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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