New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
