That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
