Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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