someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize