We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
