dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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