Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
