Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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