there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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