I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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