When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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