i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
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I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
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Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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