Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
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All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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