My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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