so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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