Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
