god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
