so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
