Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
