just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
