I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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