Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
