Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
