id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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