it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
