White coat. Heels.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
