Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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