you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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