Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Randomize
