I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
