I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
