1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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