she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
