Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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