After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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