I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
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i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize