take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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