Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
