Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
