When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
