No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.