Your dad touched me again.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
