Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
