Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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