We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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