Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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