maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
