Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
