i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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