shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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