My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
