Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
