We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Randomize
