When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
